For When It’s Hazy
The air feels thick and the sky an odd mix of bright and cloudy in my central Texas town. The last week or so the air quality has been poor due to fires in Mexico and for some reason unknown to me my town seems to be getting the worst ozone scores in the region. The fires happen regularly but due to record heat and weather the density of the haze is considerably higher.
In this condition, my own mind seems to want to match my environment. I have my own haze it seems. Perhaps it’s a physical bi-product of lower air quality but it never ceases to amaze me how also, our physical response to something can actually represent the signature of the things causing them.
My own mind has lower air quality, my thoughts have been of a nature that my intention and meditation have not been aiming for. I have an awareness that the skies in and out will clear but I found myself asking my own inner guidance for what to do while the haze hangs heavy.
There are many reasons we might find our mind cloudy with no real spark of clarity to be found so I hope my message can help you too.
The message that came through is to surrender to the flow but not to defeat.
Surrendering to what is does not mean we give in to our lowest thoughts and let it rule us, it means we stop resisting it. For example if you were feeling sad, you dont suddenly say I am the saddest person ever, what is every sad thing I can think, watch and consume, but you also dont force yourself to act extremely happy and tell everyone you see its the best day every while you die a little each time you say it. (Unless that is your current mantra then keep up your practice)
Resistance and choosing something else can feel similar in concept but are very different, one is afraid of what is there, afraid it has all the power and is trying to run from it, the other is aware and knows it has the power to choose again. We do have to know we have that power to redirect.
To surrender to the flow means you witness fully what is there and begin to ask if somehow this too could be in service if utilized correctly. This does not mean we give up on our intentions or attempt at loving thoughts and mantras. We keep showing up to habits and patterns that are contributing to our personal growth as fully as we can. But we ask if there is something that can be done with what is however cloudy it may be, that could be a a part of that goal.
In the movie about Mr.Rogers from the popular children’s T.V. show another character asks him how he deals with his own emotions and shows up happy all the time. His answer for dealing with own anger was not getting mad at everyone but he said he swam laps.He took that anger and moved with it. I dont claim to know personal health goals but this is certainly a way of taking something intense and unwanted and making it move you towards greater wellness.
Our own haze or tiredness can come when we too have burned our fields of old, and are in a resting place for the new. Rapid change can have a gestation period.
When you find yourself in the haze and feeling like your mind doesn’t hold sight of the vision you desired, slow down, breath in that space, acknowledge what is there but also don’t let your mind go wild, don’t identify as it, just be the witness. Ask yourself what the most loving or joyful ways you could experience what is coming up. What could you do with it? If it feels opposed to a particular goal or intention you have, could you find a way to still hold that in your mind, decide that this too is on the path to that and see where it goes from there?
Its possible that our haze is a phase of our spiritual journey like the fires and smoke in agriculture, not a deterrent to it. And when you decide it is, it will most certainly be.
In seeking clarity,
Avery